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Unfortunately, the title of this post reveals the fact that I’ve been at the doctor lately… but I’ll get more into that in the next post. For now though, I just need to get this out. My vexations observed in this post reveal a little bit about why I want to be a sports medicine doctor. They are also feelings that I’m sure all of you as athletes have faced at one point or another if you’ve EVER been to the doctors for an injury. So here we go….

(Vexation: noun. She stamped her foot in vexation. Annoyance, irritation, exasperation, indignation, anger, crossness, displeasure, pique, bile, disgruntlement, bad mood; informal: aggravation. That was your bonus word of the day BTW.)

Quick background: Since the beginning of June, I had been feeling some “stuff” going on in my left shin. Remember that day I said I had the run from hell? Turned around after two miles because my anterior tibialis muscle felt like it was made of steel? That was the start. At that point it was solely muscular feeling.. and I was thinking, oh crap… compartment syndrome?

Fast forward about a week (2^nd week of June) and the muscle tightness was pretty much gone. Raced New Bri Tri and felt fine. Then towards the end of that week (around the 10^th…) I started to feels some tenderness midway down the shaft of my Tibia. That’s your big shin bone for those that aren’t anatomy freaks. I say tenderness intentionally because that’s what it is – not pain, but feels almost like it’s bruised. Which does happen, so I sort of hoped for that.

However… I’m also not stupid. I might have been able to pull off the “well I didn’t know it was feeling bad….” thing off in high school. Since fracturing my hip and all having surgery on it in December 2008, I would like to say that I am a little bit smarter. No… I will say that. I am a much smarter athlete than I was several years ago. I love running basically as much as life, but I love it enough to know that I’d rather take the present moment to heal so that I can still enjoy running in my future.

Wow… I’m getting off track.

So I say my tibia was “tender” … but let’s be real – that’s still somewhere on the spectrum of “hurt.”  I had Manitou the Sunday after New Bri, and it was Friday when I had that “ohhhh crap” moment. I spoke with my doc, and we agreed that I’d go ahead and race Manitou. It was just a sprint… so that race (and really, just the 5K run) wasn’t enough to make or break any injury. So race Manitou I did. It was “tender” afterwards.. but still wasn’t “pain”.

By that Tuesday though (June 15^th)… I knew I was not in a good spot. Tuesday nights are my regular runs with my guys group, and I went out with them with the intention of just doing one lake. Well one lake turned in to 7 miles, and let me tell you, those might have been the longest seven miles I’ve run in my life. There’s nothing like being out there on a run, KNOWING something is wrong, and having to just. get. home. Tell me – have you been there?

From that night, I said, “OK… running’s out for a while.” The words no runner ever wants to hear (or think…) – stress fracture – were like this high frequency buzz in the back of my mind. The thought was there, but I wasn’t fully aware of or accepting of the possibility. I think because I’ve been through stress fractures before (two – both fibular.. aka your “little” lower leg bone) I am almost able to minimize the situation – because in the end I’ve come through them stronger and faster than before.

So because ‘running was out’ … I ran 7 miles on our camping trip at Baker. Still no “pain,” but it definitely wasn’t one of my standard feel-good 7 milers. More than anything because I was just cognizant of it the whole entire time.

Which brings me to the doctor’s appointment. Because of my super awesome Student Health “Benefits” insurance plan that has such fantastic coverage… (I am declaring this the official color of sarcasm) I am not able to see my regular sports medicine doctor or treatment team. I was less than thrilled with this, to say the least. However, I was able to run the situation by him… because we’re neighbors.

Doc’s thoughts: it is less likely to be compartment syndrome. I should definitely get in for an MRI to figure things out and get started on a treatment plan. I should see Dr. F through my [one singular allowed and covered] clinic… he’s a good guy.

So I called my [one singular allowed and covered] clinic to schedule, and it turns out that Dr. F was booked out for quite a while. But the scheduler told me that Dr. A also “works with some athletes” and he would be just as good to see. And he was available the next day. So I took the appointment and the next morning I was off to the doc.

[Wait - did I say this was going to be a quick flash-back? Psych! Sorrrrrry.]

I will say right up front that I was a bit on edge before I even saw the doctor. I was not feeling good about seeing someone other than my USUAL doctor – the guy who has treated me for years throughout various injuries. Knows my history. Knows my personality. Knows my mentality. Knows my lifestyle. I was also a little on edge because I didn’t go in for my appointment for an HOUR after I was scheduled. If you know me… you might have realized I’m not the most patient person in the world.

So yeah, I was a little uneasy. And good Lord, I’m also long winded.

My doctor lost my faith in FIVE steps.

ONE // He entered the room, didn’t shake my hand, and just introduced himself. To me, at least in the professional world, that is sort of like the equivalent of saying “Hi. I’m  Important. I’m glad you have the chance to meet me.”

TWO // He took my patient history, and instantly had an impatient tone with me. I know I just said that I’m the one who’s impatient… but really? He asked when I first started noticing pain, and I said during the middle of an easy run on June 3^rd. He asked told me “Can you please Be more specific.” Roughly how much more specific were you looking for Señor? The number of days out from the next Hailie’s comet?

THREE // He had me stand up barefooted and took a look at my feet anatomy. By just looking at me standing (stationary…), both facing forwards and backwards, he told me I “greatly overly” pronated. I’m not saying he’s not qualified to make such judgments… I’m not. But I’ve spent a lot of time with both my own sports medicine doctor and my physical therapy team. During that time I’ve had TWO video gait analyses done both at the beginning of treatment and several [rehabilitated] months later, and have definitely not been told I overly pronate. There is a slight bit of pronation on one side because I have a decent leg length discrepancy. That’s quite different than “severe over pronation” – much less “severe over pronation” deducted by watching me stand still for less than 15 seconds. Moving on…

FOUR // Not only have I fractured my femoral neck, but I have also had stress fractures in both fibulas in high school. I don’t say this because I’m proud of it or something… but to demonstrate the fact that I do know a thing or two about stress fractures. Not to mention… my field in school is kinesiology and sports medicine. In talking to this doctor, I got the impression that he thought I was about as bright as a box of rocks. I know that x-rays don’t typically show sfxs until they’ve already begun to heal. I know that I have a leg length discrepancy… in fact I just told you I have a leg length discrepancy before you responded with, “Well, you have a pretty big leg length discrepancy.”  I know that orthotics might help, and in fact I’ve been given several prescriptions for them, but your Student Health Shit Benefits insurance doesn’t agree that they’re necessary and won’t cover them. I don’t know any college student working to save and pay for rent/school/groceries/a car/gas/LIFE that can shell out $500 multiple times a year for new orthotcis, nor do I feel your 3^rd degree interrogation of why I’m not wearing orthotics will help the cause.

[I love how each consecutive point is getting longer and longer and increasingly “vexated”….]

FIVE // Speaking of those x-rays that don’t really do much for sfxs (sfx = stress fracture… btw)… I had spoke with my usual sports med doc before going in to see Dr. A, and my usual doc told me to get an MRI. So when I go in to see you, tell you this, and you say, “Why would we do an MRI? An x-ray is all we need.” I will be slightly defensive, a) because I have complete faith in my usual doctor, and b) I have had wayyy more radiation than anyone my age should have by now. I do not want more (Sam I am). Not here, nor there, nor anywhere. Five minutes following the two x-rays taken, when you find them inconclusive and “suggest” we do an MRI, I will be slightly exasperated, frustrated, and annoyed. That exasperation, frustration, and annoyance will rise on the scale of 1 to insanity when you tell me that this MRI is also not covered by my Student Health Benefits, and will cost me roughly $260 out of pocket. Plus $500 because I really need to be wearing orthotics.

AAAGHHHHH! I feel something along the lines of this:

Flickr -> "Angry Redhead"

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When I first started writing this post, I wanted it to stay all cool-and-collected sounding, and keep more of a pleasant yet humorous tone. But over the two days plus that it has taken me to finish this, it has become apparent that I’m really kind of PO’ed. Not only because of the way I felt this doctor treated me, but because yet again – stress fracture or not – this is an injury.

So did I get the MRI? No. There is a point when you know what your prescription will be, pretty much regardless of the actual diagnosis: rest.

Resting I am. I haven’t run since June 15th (aside from that seven mile run while camping…) and I’m going to give it to at least the end of the week before trying it out again. I’m doing my best to maintain my sanity, because although I can swim and bike, it just doesn’t do it for me like running. And I am getting to that point where seeing other people/hearing other people talk about running is making me mad. I don’t like me mad.

Fortunately my July racing schedule was pretty skimpy. I might do a swim race (the Great Prairie Open Water Swim)  in the middle of the month just to still be racing. I thrive off having a goal and competition! And I’m PRAYING that I’m good to go for August, because my month is packed and FUN, and I want to be there for it. I will accept donated prayers as well.

That post on pool running recently? Karma? I’m just sayin….

READER QUESTIONS: Have you ever “been there”? Do you have a good doctor, or one who makes you want to pull your hair out? Any of you currently dealing with an injury? What is it, and how are you hangin’ in there?

I hope the rest of my runners out there are runnin’ strong. Keep up your XT and your pre-hab!  I will tell you that I indulged in a little retail therapy at the AWESOME sale going on at Pure Blue right now. (Sale is ONLINE too for all you non-local folks!) I have two new swim suits, a matching cap (Oooh gosh… really?! Yes. Really.), and a new pair of tri shorts. In the mean time, you can find me in the pool!

-E

Alrighty kids – it’s been eight days since my last post, and really that’s more like eleven because the last post was essentially no better than a “will return soon” sign, with no promise as to when. Truthfully though… I have written a post. Two of them actually – two versions of the same thing. Only they haven’t been published due to the fact that they’re about something I just don’t really want to talk about! You know the feeling you get when you’ve had too much candy? Like Starbursts or Swedish Fish or something. You have that sort of dull stomachache, and it’s almost like your mouth hurts? Yeah… that’s how writing those two drafts made me feel. Like I’m not only raining on everyone’s parade, but I whipped out my personal fireman-strength hose and turned that on full strength too. No me gusta… to say the least.

This is the first photo that shows up for “good attitude” on Flickr…

But then I realized that was only the angle on this story if I chose for it to be. Remember that whole attitude is a choice thing? And my favorite passage – “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) Mmm yep, still a true as ever. So here we go, jumping right into the meat of the post (couldn’t help it):

How I became a carnivore my health.

… Rabbit Food …

Nope… put your iCal away. You didn’t miss April 1^st. If you’ve been hangin’ out at Dr. TriRunner for a while, you know that I am was a vegetarian. For eight years to be exact. I became a vegetarian at the age of 12 because something in my very-large-12-year-old brain clicked, and I suddenly couldn’t separate the thought of eating meat (chicken, pork chops, turkey lunch meat, etc.) from eating people meat. I mean, a rib is a rib, no matter how you look at it. I actually look back and think – huh, I was a pretty smart sixth grader! Makes me kind of proud….

Aah! I digress. So that was the initial reason I became a vegetarian. Over the years, I became more passionate about animal rights, the meat industry in the U.S. (actually did a big thesis project on that one…), and definitely did my research to make sure I was being a healthy and educated vegetarian. Anyone, but especially an endurance athlete, cannot sustain on lettuce alone.

Photos of good veggie food: throw-back posts from April 2008!!

… Endo …

Also at a young age, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. “Diagnose” is sort of a misuse of the word, because that can’t actually happen without a laparoscopy (which I haven’t had done), but all signs, symptoms, examinations, and ultrasounds would suggest so. Trust me… yo’ girl has had more than her fair share of “lady exams.”

What is endometriosis? Aside from something I’ve mentioned all of like twice, but never in detail… it’s essentially a condition where endometrial tissue (the tissue that lines the uterus) grows in other places too, such as the fallopian tubes, ovaries, and pelvis. It acts as normal endometrial tissue, in that it builds up, thickens, and then tries to shed. Only there is nowhere for the blood to go because it’s not inside of your uterus. And basically, it hurts. A shitton. For more details on the disorder, the Mayo Clinic’s website (as with everything) does a good job breaking it down.

Long story short, in the past year, and more specifically the past four or five months, I feel that my symptoms have been getting markedly worse. The episodes of pain and cramping have become more frequent, and my period has gone NUTS. Most female distance runners fear losing their period, and I’m worried I’m going to lose all the blood in my body! (Haha – don’t you love my use of the color wheel here?) The last four months (and apparently five, starting Monday…) I have bled heavily for two weeks straight. Losing this much blood + endurance athletics = no good = potentially anemia. Once again… no me gusta.

Due to the non-existent awesome insurance that I am paying $300 a month for, anything beyond a flu shot and a sliver removal are considered “over and above” your necessary care. Endometriosis is considered “specialty” care, and specialty care is considered lots of $$$, and lots of $$$ is considered something I. Don’t. Have. So I do what I do best, and get my study on and try to figure out what is going on. No worries, I don’t count Wikipedia as a “source.” I am lucky enough to know several very knowledgeable (and qualified!) people to help me out here.

Flickr has many other photos for endometriosis, but I’m keepin it PG. They’re strictly medical though, so if you’re not squeemish then feel free to check them out.

… My findings …

(Although I tend to think I’m as smart as a rocket scientist, much of this is common sense.)

1. B/C pills are the most commonly prescribed “treatment” for endometriosis. The pill I’m on is one that’s most likely doing jackshit for me. But hey, it is “covered” in that excellent insurance.
2. SOY… is known to augment endometriosis. As a vegetarian for eight years, soy is obviously a large component of my diet for providing protein.
3. SOY… is in freaking everything. Or at least it would seem to be in everything that I have come to know and love. Cereal? Really?
4. If I cut out soy, that doesn’t leave me with many protein options. Especially when I factor in the amount of blood I’m losing, and needing to get EXTRA protein and iron to make sure I’m not headed towards anemia.
5. Meat has protein. And iron. And helps prevent anemia. Amen.

I know… rocket science right? So, now that you have my whole endometriosis rundown (the part that I feel is like listening to nails on a chalkboard) that concludes the flashback, and we return to the title of the post…

Hello iron-deficiency anemia.

… BEEF …

As of Tuesday April 27^th, I am no longer a vegetarian. And I figured if I’m going to eat meat with the purpose of getting this iron in me, I need to do it right. Beef. And not just any beef, but Chipotle’s Barbacoa shredded beef.

How was it? Crazy. Not crazy like bad, but crazy weird. Add this to the list of “findings” … meat takes a helluva lot longer to chew than non-animal foods. And I’m sure my stomach found those shredded cow muscles entering my digestive system and said, “What the ⠃ ⠥ ⠉ ⠅ are you putting in here??” (haha yessss!!) Eating meat just seams so raw and so primal to me… it’s not like it “tastes” bad. If it tasted bad, then companies wouldn’t make faux meat products like Light Life Buffalo Wings or Morningstar Farms “Ribs”.

Eating meat is definitely going to take some getting used to, and also a lot of learning! I had a 20-minute conversation with my new hommie in Trader Joe’s today about eating meat, endo, triathlons, and backpacking. ?? Yes. I’m not going down this road kicking and screaming, and I’m not being forced. This was no one’s decision but my own, and although I would like to still be a vegetarian, I do not think that for my health it is the right choice. I was talking to a friend today, and told her “As much as I’ve wanted to fight sometimes and say “I know my own body!” … it’s not always the case that a physical reality and a mental ideal match up.” And in this case, what I ideally would like and what physically is goin’ on ain’t tellin’ the same story. Capish?

I would also like to say that I would only buy local, organic, free-range, grass fed, smiling happy [dead] cows from California. But honestly? How many times have you heard me say budget is an issue? Muchas veces, my friends. Realistically I can’t afford such things. I will be eating animals (the word “meat” seams so misleading to me at this point…?) on a limited basis, so as best as I can, I will follow my conscious and at least try to support companies and sellers that follow more humane practices. All in all though, humans are still killing the animal for consumption. I might get some hateration for this, but it doesn’t really make a difference to me.

@ Chipotle… scared.

Examination of the cow now marinated and in my Burrito Bowl.

IRON.

… El Fin …

Time for me to end here amigos. I hope you will understand my decision, and if you don’t… well, your choice! I’m all for honesty as we all know, and this is what’s currently going on. I appreciate your honesty, whether it is in accordance to what I am thinking/feeling, or not. As always, any questions and comments are welcomed whether you leave them here in the comments section or send me an email.

Shoot. Now I gotta go change my “ABOUT Me” page. So much for finishing this VO2 report!

⠇⠕⠧⠑ ,

Erika (yes – that’s what the “E” stands for!) aka Dr.TriRunner

p.s. maybe I could win this $60 shopping spree and buy something from CNS’s kitchenware site… I could definitely use some help in the grilling department!

Sunday Long “Run”

Poppin (Remix) – Christ Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Juelz Santana

Today, being a Sunday, would mean it’s a long run day. We haven’t discussed my running status much as of late, because well, there really isn’t a status. It’s been constantly changing! For the month of December, running was super minimal. (read: like 30 miles for the entire MONTH maybe?) No – its most def. not because I can’t handle the Minnesota winters – we all know I’ve got that covered. Unfortunately.. it would be the hip. Again. My next “big” Dr. appointment is February 8th. Maybe I’ll know more after that, but at this point, this is what I do know: (words of my lovely sports med doc:) “It’s not going to just break through while you’re out there – if you want to be running, and it isn’t excruciatingly painful, you might as well.”

High Definition – Lupe Fiasco ft. Snoop Dog & Pooh Bear

So since January, I’ve taken that and run with it, literally. My milage is still NOTHING like “normal”, but at least I’m running a few days a week. However, no weekend long run for me. So today’s “long run” is brought to you by my Octane Q47 (or what I refer to typically as my “xRunner”) machine… lookin a little like this:

Dirt Off Your Shoulder – Jay Z

And since I have two hours scheduled with this bad boy, I figured what a better time to give you my ellipti/run/music rundown. What you see in BOLD and PURPLE are the songs that are playing currently while I am typing. Yes. Blogging while working out is pretty much the only way I have time for this right now. And since right now I have, oh… an hour and 44 minutes left, you get lots of songs.  My iTunes is on Shuffle btw, but I’m skipping around a bit if I hit a song I don’t like.

Beggin – Madcon

As you can also see, I’m not writing a ton in between what are anywhere between 4-5 minute songs. That’s because blogging, as I’m sure all of you who have your own site know, takes mucho tiempo.

Track 7 – Grey’s Anatomy Soundtrack

(Don’t know the actual name… really not a fan of this song… but it gives you an idea of the eclectness of my iTunes.) Which brings me to the next item on my agenda…

Future Updating Schedule:

Guarantees – Atmosphere

It’s no joke that I am super busy this semester. But this blog is really important to me, and I actually really LIKE doing it! My iCal last week looked a little like this, and this is even just a four day week, with school just having started, so not a ton of homework yet. This also doesn’t show the 6 credits of online classes I have currently going on! Ayyy. Contemplating dropping Physics this semester, but that doesn’t seem like a good plan because I still need to take it at some point. All the classes I’m taking right now are ones I need to eventually take! Thank you God for inventing iCal…

This Is What It’s Made For – Usher

Because of this insanity, my posting schedule will most likely be once or twice a week. It will also probably be a bit more to the point and content driven than all this extra curricular stuff. Actually.. no, it probably wont. That’s just how I roll. If you’ve seen some of my tweets lately though, you know I got a lot going on:

• 20 credits
• 2 labs
• 2 jobs
• boyfriend
• family/friends
• the Tri team
• Dr. TriRunner
• the Tri team’s website – I just took this one on, but I’m excited about it!

There’s no blame or fingers to be pointed (other than at myself )… this is what I get myself into. Welcome to the life of a Type A (+) overscheduler. Moving on…

Real As It Gets – Jay Z ft. Young Jeezy

On Friday I promised you a gear review, and that’s what I have for you now!

Cycling & Winter Running Socks: Review

You – Atmosphere

First up, my loves of all time: SMARTWOOL. More specifically, their Ultra Light Cushion Women’s Cycling socks:

These were a gift from the boy, and damn, does he know how to pick em’! I love the way these hug my arches in just the right spot, and I don’t have to fold them over because they’re so effing big or have the “heel” be sitting at my ankle! I wear these in spin right now and they are PERFECT! They come up just high enough so my shimano shoes don’t cut into my leg, but they’re still “ankle socks.” Final Grade: A

Dirt Off Your Shoulders Vs. Bittersweet Symphony Remix – Jay Z & The Verve

Next: CRAFT Pro Warm Quarter Running Sock

Alright.. when I told you everything  you’d ever want to know about WINTER RUNNING… I told you how much my feet/hands circulation sucks. Well that post needs a revision: my feet/hand circulation SUCKS when I’m not properly prepared!!

Jesus Walks – Kanye West

This was also included in a x-mas gift from the boy (he’s winning in all corners here!) and DAYYYNG. I. Love. Keep in mind that these were not sent to me by the company – this review is solely based on my usage of said socks and happy warm toes. These. Are. FANTASTIC. On a run where my fingers were frozen solid through… think permafrost frozen… my feet were SO toasty, but not sweaty! Just happy, happy toes. Thankkk you to novio and thank you to Craft! Final Grade: A+

Real World – Match Box Twenty

(Haha! I told you it was on shuffle!)  While were on the subject of SOCKS, I will say that I am yet to wear my supafly Kayano Left and Right specific running socks that my mom gave me for Christmas. I feel like these need to be reserved for races or special occasion / monumental runs only. Q: Do you have any clothes like that? I definitely have a racing only sports bra!

Push It Remix – Camron ft. Jim Jones, Juelz, and Lil Wayne

Annnd that’s one hour down! Love it! What I don’t love is this weekend is “Open House” weekend at my gym. Read: Way super overcrowded!! Un momentitio chicos… bathroom break.

OK! Hour two.. start it off with an all time favorite:

I’ll Be Missing You – P. Diddy ft. Faith Evans

This is also where I switch to going backwards and up the resistance a bit! Annnd make sure I’m continuing to hydrate:

Baby It’s Cold Outside – James Taylor ft. Natalie Cole

(Hahaha!! Don’t judge!) Ok so I’m starting to really enjoy this live blogging thing. Pictured above (excuse the blurriness.. I took it one handed and moving) is the new LEMON LIME Powerade Zero! But not only Powerade kids.. that would be Lemon Lime PowerDew. If you haven’t done the PowerDew yet.. hop on it. And make sure to tell me what you think!!! And because we’re talking about beverages and hydrating….

Nilla’ Mint Coffee Recovery Shake:

Hotel California – The Eagles

I also told you last Friday that I had a recipe coming! I fell in love the second this cool, creamy shake of shining glory touched my lips. Not exaggerating.

Always Coming Back Home to You – Atmosphere

Thankfully that was not a 4:26 am photo! Here’s what we got goin’ on:

• Chocolate Mint Coffee, (.5 – 1 cup, depending on preference of taste and texture) cooled (a la Ghiradelli – sent to my by my absolute fave SwimBuddy Lizzy)
• 2 scoops Vanilla protein powder
• Xanthan gum
• Ice ( I use about 6 regular sized cubes)

If you tragically are not able to find this miraculous mint coffee, as I no longer am because I ran out and apparently this is a seasonal delicacy, I have moved on to using regular coffee (or espresso to be more accurate), dark coco powder, and mint extract. Place all ingredients in blender of choice, and get to town.

Say Shhh – Atmosphere

(If you’re from MN.. GET that song. Has been a favorite of mine for a lonnnng time!) Depending on the type of protein powder you choose to use, you can get upwards of 20g of protein here! Other variations: you could use chocolate flavored protein powder and nix the cocoa powder. You could do half coffee/half milk (or milk alternative). If you’re lucky enough to have any leftover Girlscout Thinmint cookies stashed in your  freezer… send them all to me one or two blended up in the drink would lead to nilla/choco/mint ecstacy. Caution.

When’s the Last Time – Clipse ft. Pharell

As you can see, I did this in my Magic Bullet and it barely fit. I’m still praying that the folks from VitaMix HQ over in Cleveland, Ohio will find this lil runner/triathlete/future doctor and realize:

Dang – this girl really needs a Vita Mix in her life. Her future depends on it. How can we help?

I have an extra kidney if any of your employees need it. We could work out a deal. KIDDING!!! Kinda…

Bout It – Yung Joc ft. 3LW (Step Up Soundtrack)

Alright – decision time: I have half an hour of this “run” left… and there are still about a billion things I have on my “to post” list. I wanna give you a GU2:10 (or Goal Update for those who haven’t mastered the Dr.TriRunner terminology…) but I think I will wait till January is over and  give you a complete one month perspective.

Maria Maria – Carlos Santana ft. Wyclef Jean

(Yes, I really did only type that much in the time it took to play all of Bout It. Not a short song.. but I’m sweating more liquid than my shower gives on a good water pressure day. Haha what an attractive mental picture..) What I think needs to happen right now, since I neglected it on Friday, is a little guilt relief. That’s right kids – sounds like a…

Sunday Friday Confessional:

What We Talkin’ Bout – Jay Z ft. Luke Steele

You know the rules of the game: there are none. Nothing is off limits. You fess up, I fess up. We all feel better. This is a practice I have very much loved ever since my very first ever Friday Confessional back in November of 2008. One year ago I was fessing up to this:

1. I’ve become rather spiteful without running. I’ve seen other people running outside or hearing them talk about running and wished they couldn’t run too. It’s like if I can’t run, no one else should. 
2. I stole my roommates pack of Cinnamon Spice gum off her desk. Sorry Laur – I owe you.
3. I ODed on Cinnamon Toast Crunch one night in the beginning of the week. I literally had FIVE bowls. Just dry. Back to back.  And I felt sick as hell afterwards/the next morning. It was completely emotional and very delicious. But I don’t need to do that again.
4. I paid $55 for unlimited group fitness at the Marino. And I’m yet to take ONE class. I signed up for abs tonight and spinning tomorrow morning.
5. I accidentally brought home a pool belt from the Y. And it is sitting under my bed. And it’s mine.

Ever The Same – Rob Thomas

Have I changed? Let’s see…
#1 – I am currently running, but nothing like “I used to.” But my thoughts on that one are much more stemming from frustration.. not “spite.” Or at least I’d like to think so.
#2 – No stealing gum. I have a plentiful stock of my Stride favorites.
#3 – No more CTC sadly – I no longer have “the caf,” and therefore no longer have open access to crack this goodness. Probably a good thing.

Nothing Ever Hurt Like You – James Morrison

#4 – $55 seems like a steal when you’re paying $68/month for a gym membership. Nuff said.
#5 – That pool belt fits me perfectly

This week I’m going to confess only one thing to you in the blog word, because a) I only have 7 minutes left and I want time to make a song wrap-up, and b) I’ve been pretty darn good this week if I do say so myself. Here we go:

Move If You Wanna – Mims

1. I have become increasingly reliant on sleep aids. Tylenol PM, Simply Sleep.. the melatonin ain’t doin jack isht. It’s at the point where if I don’t take anything, I just don’t get tired. No matter what. Friday night – took nothing. Fell “asleep” around 4 am. Was already awake when my alarm went off at 8am. I’m fessing up to this one because it’s actually a problem. I plan on talking to my doc about it at my next appointment. Which I am yet to schedule. :/

That’s all I have time for kids! This was a GOOD POST if you ask me! Sorry if I overwhelmed you with all of  this at once though. Here is the…

Long “Run” Song Wrap-up:

Encore – Jay Z (good song to end on!)
Poppin (Remix) – Christ Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Juelz Santana
High Definition – Lupe Fiasco ft. Snoop Dog & Pooh Bear
Dirt Off Your Shoulder – Jay Z
Beggin – Madcon
Track 7 – Grey’s Anatomy Soundtrack
Guarantees – Atmosphere
This Is What It’s Made For – Usher
Real As It Gets – Jay Z ft. Young Jeezy
You – Atmosphere
Dirt Off Your Shoulders Vs. Bittersweet Symphony Remix – Jay Z & The Verve
Jesus Walks – Kanye West
Real World – Match Box Twenty
Push It Remix – Camron ft. Jim Jones, Juelz, and Lil Wayne
I’ll Be Missing You – P. Diddy ft. Faith Evans
Baby It’s Cold Outside – James Taylor ft. Natalie Cole
Hotel California – The Eagles
Always Coming Back Home to You – Atmosphere
Say Shhh – Atmosphere
When’s the Last Time – Clipse ft. Pharell
Bout It – Yung Joc ft. 3LW (Step Up Soundtrack)
Maria Maria – Carlos Santana ft. Wyclef Jean
What We Talkin’ Bout – Jay Z ft. Luke Steele
Ever The Same – Rob Thomas
Nothing Ever Hurt Like You – James Morrison
Move If You Wanna – Mims

[Change of location - the workout went wonderfully! No pain, sweated my a$$ off, and feel good. At home now.] Hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did! I have two pages that should be up and running soon: music, and the return of my blogroll (finally)! There are more layout/style changes to come too. For now, if you’re looking for music (like the Reader’s Choice Ultimate Mix) just click on the “music” tag in the right column! Gotta go for now peeps – my VIKES are playing tonight!

-E

I just had to pop in and say that my absence will continue until SUNDAY, at which time I hope to make a full recovery and rejoin the blogging world. For at least a month, until I sell my soul to 20 credits next semester. Please note that my absence is fully excused and I even have a note from Dr. FinalsAreALifeSuck. Proof:

Haha ok.. so totally not mine. But can you read that? Toooo funny!

p.s. apparently there are a shitton of sites willing to sell you fake doctor’s notes if you cannot get the classy one above. #1 result when I searched “doctor’s note” was www (dot) bestfakedoctorsnote (dot) com. I bet the creator of that site has a very fulfilling life… :/

ANYWAYS, where was I? Oh yea, making lame excuses for falling off the face of the planet. Finals. Well, good news is that I’m two down, and that means only two to go. Also good news is that I actually aced, as in a full 100%, my lab final for anatomy. Yeaaah that’s right – it says DR.TriRunner. Not so good news is that I’m pretty sure I got shredded by my calc final. But I had an A going into that, and judging by how many people took the full 3 hours to finish, everyone else thought the test was pretty damn hard too. I did what I can do, and so glad to have that one outta the way. Lecture portion of Anatomy tomorrow morning, and Lifetime  Health & Wellness (kines bidness’ ) tomorrow night. That means today I will be doin’ another one of theeese:

I am fully anticipating carpal tunnel syndrome, metacarpal osteoarthritis, and frequent carpopedal spasms (my foot only because I’m a chronic tapper…). Hahha ok.. now I’m just being a showoff.

One last excuse I can throw out there (and am doing mostly only because I have a photo) is my effing EYES. Remember the orbital cellulitis? Well I’m on amoxicillin for it, but I feel like it’s pretty much a medicationFAIL because I’m preeetty sure it’s getting worse. Swelling in my left eye went down, but then it strolled on over to my right eye. Now there is NO swelling but it feels like my eyeballs are bruised.. and if I open my eyes to wide and look down, they might just fall out of my face. Not to mention it makes it look like I was either cheifin all by myself of crying for hours.. neither of which are the case. Sweet.

Hot.. I know. And this picture doesn’t even do the crazy overabundance of bursting blood vessels justice. But since eyes kind of gross me out… and for the sake of my cute reputation once pretty eyes umm… damn myself, I’ll refrain from going any further.

SO, to leave you in true Sperly photo fashion, here is what you can expect to come. And photo #1 is first up because I’ve gotten lots of good questions! Feel free to keep shootin’ em my way if you have more!

1. 
2. 
3. Despite the fact that I am Martha Stewart’s long lost daughter.. I promise that the giveaway is non floss related. Or string. Or yarn. Stay tuned!

Maybe this was the little study break I needed.. cause I definitely took my sweet time writing it. Back to work. Seee you later home skillets.
-E

click for source!

Cute, right? I don’t look like this.. but when I had it in 3rd grade, I couldn’t even put my glasses on my eye was so swollen!!

LUCKILY, I caught it before it got to that stage this time because I knew what I was feeling. I’m all pumped up on antibiotics..

but I’m even MORE PUMPED to run tonight! Once you get over the soeffingcold-factor, running in Minnesota in the winter is kinda nice. Going with the same guys I’ve run with every Tuesday night for the last three years. Which brings me to the point of this very short post – crazy freak eye infections WINTER RUNNING!

I’ll try n get some photos of my winter gear, throw in some tips and fun facts, but more importantly I’d like to answer any questions that YOU may have! Every Tuesday I come home from my run and my roomie says, “You were running outside??” Yes my friend. Running does continue as the snow falls and the temperatures drop!

Got a question about running through snow/negative20°/ice/treadmillin’ it? Let me know – leave a comment here!

See you soon!
-E

The doctor’s appointment of doooom.

At least that’s what I was making it out to be! I was SO thankful to have my mom accompanying me for this visit. In my opinion, it’s ALWAYS helpful to have an extra set of ears at a doctor’s appointment. How many times have you left the doctor’s office and thought “oh crap – I forgot to ask about _____!” Or “Damn.. I wish I would have thought to ask about ______.” I’m sure you’ve been there. My madre came prepared with a list of her own questions, but she was great in letting me be the one in charge. As many of you know, I’ve been pretty much in charge of my own injuries/treatment plan since I was like 16. Of course when it came to surgery, that was a joint decision made by the whole team – my doctors, surgeons, myself, and my family. The doctor reiterated though how important it is to be in control of your own health, and more importantly,  to be educated about it.

BACK ON TRACK – I had for sure thought that I wasn’t going to be cleared to run, because there had been no x-rays scheduled.. no MRIs, no bone scans, no CT scans.. none of the tests I had to go through six weeks ago to prove I even had the fracture in the first place. Without doing the tests again, there’d be no way to know if the fracture healed. When I saw the doctor yesterday (and I should add this is a NEW DOCTOR to my treatment team: a guy who specializes in solely femoral neck fractures) he said no tests! No more xrays, no more injections, no more radiation for my poor little ovaries! If any of you have been reading long enough to remember.. I was definitely worried about this before, since having kids is something I definitely want (or at least to have the option to do so) in the future! Think of the mini-speedy-Sperlies running around Awwww

(E y la madre, after regions sophomore year) (p.s. be prepared for plenty of throwback photos!)

Ahem.. returning to the appointment, once again. Sorry. So, no more tests. He pulled and bended me and asked me about my “pain”.. which if I haven’t mentioned it before (or you don’t remember) there really isn’t any. That’s not a good indicator of anything though, as there wasn’t any pain when my femoral neck was fractured two thirds of the way through either. But there is a noticeable change in the “sensations” I have in that left groin area now compared to six weeks ago: I’m not limping. I don’t feel like the muscle is trying to resist forward movement. I can stand and balance on my left leg. I can single leg squat on my left leg equally as well as I can on my right. I can run down stairs, I can run up stairs, it feels basically equal to my right hip. All good things!! Based on my symptoms (or lack there of), my new-favorite-femoral-neck-fanatic gave me the GO AHEAD to resume running!!

And as of yesterday night, I am 3 miles closer to having my life back. Aaaaamen.

In terms of a plan on how to return, as in how much, how often, how fast, how hard (TWSS. Jeeez…), he was more lenient than I expected for sure. And maybe “lenient” isn’t the right word – it’s not like I had to beg him to let me do X amount. But he was real with me and his allotments for my mileage were very much to my liking. I’m trying to avoid specific numbers here because I don’t need anyone trying to copy a recovery/rehab plan that isn’t made for them. Even given what he’s “allowing” me to do, I cut that down. My physical therapist thinks this is a good idea. If any of you want to know more about the rehab or specifics, just message me and we can talk.

(throw back to high school XC days – I was so carefree then!)

I’m sure that many of you who have come back from a rather lengthy/serous injury before know this feeling: as happy as you are to be able to run again, and as great as it feels, it doesn’t stop you from being paranoid with every step you take. Am I right? I just feel like I am so thankful to have this back in my life, but at the same time its something so precious and delicate. If you needed to get your one year old downstairs to your hubby, you wouldn’t just throw your her over the stair railing to get her there faster. That’s how I feel about my running. (Haha.. they didn’t call me “Extreme Erika” for nothing!) Take it slow, be conscious, be careful. All good. It is my every intention to still race, but for now, I need to put that aside and just focus on being strong and healthy!

(regions – sophomore year? can you find me?! )

Once again, I feel like I need to thank all of you SO much! Your support, advice, your own stories, and your inspiration have been so helpful in keeping me positive throughout this whole ordeal – this time around, the first time around, and always! And also to those of you who comment on facebook every time that status changes.. to know that other people are rooting for you and keeping you in your prayers doe so much in staying positive. THANK YOU!

OK – so where the jell is this giveaway she keeps talking about, right? Set your timers my friends: tomorrow we’re gonna get it poppin‘. And I’m not just talkin a bag or two – the chips are stacked high here! Puns fully intended.. get pumped popped!

I will of course continue to update on the situation with running, as well as the biking, swimming, XT, and PT, because none of those are stopping now that I can run again. As a matter of fact, I need to get changed right now to bike to physical therapy! Hope you all have a lovvely day!

-E

p.s. How many times can I say it.. I LOVE writing/working while I’m on the bus! Definitely couldn’t be blogging while driving. p.p.s. look what’s coming to Minneapolis: I. Want. To. Go.

I have never used one before, but a girl from the XC team last year used one on her foot for a metatarsal fracture. Here’s what it would look like if you broke your radius or something…

Only somehow it will fit differently to sit on my left groin basically and send its magical wishes to my femoral neck. IMO, you can never be sure if it’s the stim that is actually working, or if it’s just the fact that you are taking time off of _____ (running, skating, etc.) that actually heals it. I will try just about anything though at this point! (Nerd alert: as if you couldn’t tell from my title..) It feels like this is straight outta Harry Potter here!

Wish me luck my friends! In the mean time.. get your rear in gear and go enter my GIVEAWAY. Only four days left!

Love,
-E

A little link love for other giveaways while I’m at it…

Tri to Cook.. how does people get this stuff?

On the [very late] bus on the way to school [in the rain] I got a call from my doctor with the results of yesterdays tests. (Haha.. am I painting enough of a dramatic picture here? Ok.. I’ll cut it..) The bone scan had shown “abnormal activity” in my left hip, and PET/CT showed that there was indeed a fracture in the inferior femoral neck. Basically right in the same place it was almost exactly a year ago (“last fateful run”… Sept. 29th, 2008). I am thinking that the fracture healed after surgery with all that rehab time, but that in amping up my mileage for this marathon (Twin Cities.. 9 days from today) I refractured it. 

(Rehab post-surgery: December, 2008)

Given my medical history and the fact that I have fibrous dysplasia.. am I surprised? Yes and no. I thought the fracture would have for sure healed, but now that I think about it, when you have fibrous dysplasia, it is essentially scar tissue where it’s supposed to be bone. So if it’s not “real bone”.. then how can it generate new bone growth if there is no “bone” there to begin with? Am I making sense? 

So I had all of this gloomy glorious day to sit and dwell contemplate. What am I going to do from here? What about the marathon? If there’s no marathon.. can I still run.. at all? Can the severity of the fracture be quantified? Is it as bad as last time? It doesn’t feel as bad as last time… What about the marathon? What about cross-training – is that still OK? Am I going to be back on crutches? How long will this take to heal? And.. what about the effin’ marathon!?!

My doctor is pretty amazing.. no doubt about that. I would definitely recommend him to anyone in the TC area who is dealing with an athletic injury. If you want his name, I can definitely pass it on to you, but I’m not sure if he would want his name publicly included in this so I will just leave it at that. Anyways, being the amazing doctor that he is, I have his phone number, his email, I see him at my restaurant, and he said I could call with any questions I had. Seeing as that questions were ample, I wrote down all the valid ones, and called him after class. (Just about 15 minutes ago actually.. I am posting again via public transportation – the 114 bus.)

Regarding the “Will it ever heal?” question, he wanted to consult with a doctor who specialized in fibrous dysplasia before giving me an answer. I really appreciate that, because that plays a huge role in what I decide to do about the marathon. If the answer is “no”, then that means I will probably not be able to ever DO another marathon, in which case I might just say eff that, and make TC my last. If the answer is a definite “yes”, and the prognosis is that I will be able to still competitive run distance, then I would probably hold off on TC.

My question about “How severe is the fracture? Is it as bad as last time?” had an answer.. and that one was at least positive. The answer is no, at least not right now. Last year I was given crutches.. I was limping hard core.. it was bad. And I knew that. The fracture doesn’t at all feel like it did then, and just looking at the scans, the doctor was able to say that “this time”.. it isn’t “as bad”. 

(edit: location change – I’m off the bus, at home, and about 4.5 hours out from when I started this post.. went over to my mom’s house.)

And finally, “So what about the marathon?” All sorts of crazy illogical thoughts have gone through my mind about that today, from “of course you can’t run it” to “there’s no way I put all that effort in for nothing…” Up until just a little bit ago, my head was not even able to make one concrete thought and stick with it for more than a minute. Talking to my mom really helped, and so did talking to the doctor. At the current moment, my train of thought is somewhere along the lines of this: I will not run at all right now until race day. I will run TC, but not race it. After that, no running the fracture heals. (That is if it CAN heal.) 

I know I’m going to get mixed reactions to this one.. some people will say that that’s being ridiculous – what good can running the marathon do? It will only set you back. Other people might agree.. I guess just depending on your background, your opinion will be different. Like I said though, that is just my CURRENT thought.. and my current thoughts have been changing like every 5 minutes so nothing is set in stone here, and I’m not holding myself to anything. Twin Cities marathon is 9 days away, and I’m sure I will have “made” 25 different “decisions” between now and then. 

Sorry to be the lil downer here.. as I’m sure you know, I wish I could be posting with GOOD NEWS and happy faces. All I can do at this point is count my blessings, try my best to keep a solid head on my shoulders, and live the life that I have been given to the fullest. 

When I was doing core at the gym today, I was thinking about this post. There was so much that I wanted to include, but to keep it manageable I’m going to split it into two. In my next post, I really want to put together a little timeline of my running history, and how this injury has come into play. More so for myself, but I have gotten a few comments from newer readers who didn’t know I pretty much went through this last year. I think it would also be good to have a little bit of my running history and background so no assumptions are made.. it’s not like this is an overuse injury from suddenly jumping on the I-need-to-do-a-marathon-or-my-life-isn’t-complete-bandwagon (I think that pretty much sums up how I feel about THAT one…). Fibrous dysplasia is a genetic condition you are BORN with, and is something that is beyond my control. A little education goes a long way, and I feel like I could lend a little insight to a couple (or one?) of anonymous commenters. 

Anyways, it’s only 10:00.. it’s Friday night.. and I’m on the couch. Lame, but I’m pulling the get-out-of-jail-free card and saying I’ve had a pretty long day. Week. I’m going to watch the news through the sports and then take the advantage of the night and just crash early. Sleep is super important in recovery, and that’s an easy thing to forget.

(knocked out post surgery – December 2008. LOL I slept like 15 hours a day for like 2 weeks.. thankk you pain meds.)

Truly, I love you guys. Thank you for your support, and yes, your sympathy. I’m a big girl.. I can handle it.

G’night to all.

-E

(University of MN Fairview Hospital. photo credit!)

Don’t get me wrong – I am so thankful for my support network: my family, my friends, my teammates, here on the blog.. you guys are all amazing. I think I struggle with even talking about my hip/health problems because that means I’m admitting that there is something wrong there, and that potentially it could be a big deal.

But anyways, yep – the hip. Again. MAYBE. 

I have been experiencing some discomfort/pain/feelings that I know shouldn’t really be there for about a month now. I have an amazing doctor who is the chairman of the sports medicine department at University of Minnesota Fairview. He is also the physician for all of our athletes, and I definitely know I am in good hands. On Tuesday I had xrays done, which were basically inconclusive. Good news is my pins are all still in place… for a while I got myself thinking “what if they’re poking through the other side of the bone!?!”

Today I had lab work at 1:00, injections at 2:00, part 1 of a bone scan at 2:10, a ct scan at 2:40, and part 2 of the bone scan at 4:00. That was all I was scheduled for today, but they could see some “abnormal activity” in the bone scan, so then I went in for a combo PET/CT scan. It was actually really relaxing.. I fell asleep on the table! My only battle wound for the day are a blown vein in my left arm, and a huge blood pool under the surface of the skin on my left hand. I can’t blame them… I have some tiny freaking veins. 

My doctor wanted another doctor to read the scans.. and he said he’d call me within 48 hours, so hopefully then I will have a better idea of what is going on. My plan is to still run Twin Cities Marathon, although ultimately if I’m putting myself at risk of needing another surgery or fracturing something again, I will listen to the advice of my doctor for sure.

Anyways.. just wanted to keep you guys in the loop. I don’t like feeling like I’m hiding something! And as much as the “sympathy” is something that is hard for me to deal with, I am not too big to ask for prayers and thoughts. I really appreciate all the support I have found in you guys in the past, and I know it’ll be there in the future.

I’m off for a quick ride with some of the team.. will be good to clear my head. Be back soon!

-E

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning, and ERIKA RAN – the first day.

- Genisis 1

Comrades, the day has finally come – I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN CLEARED TO RETURN TO RUNNING. 

That would be the legit note from señor Dr. Denis Clohisy at the University of Minnesota Medical Center, and I have also been cleared by dear Dr. Millis here in Boston, as well as my physical therapist (who I haven’t talked a lot about, but he’s amazing too ), Ian.

Now let’s be clear on some things… “Return to running” does not mean return to where I was at when I stopped. It does also not mean intervals, or tempos, or 400 repeats on the track. It does not mean that in 10 weeks I will be toeing the line at Boston, no matter how badly I want to/how much I think I “could”/how many times I look over at this posted on my wall next to my desk:

Running Boston THIS YEAR is out. You better believe I’m keeping my number though.. because while you can “defer” your time for a second year, you can’t “defer” your payment, and that is $110 I will not be getting back. More than the money though, being able to run, but not being able to RUN, is going to kill me. It already is. Going to watch is going to be ridiculously hard, but there is no way I’m not going. I have two people from home that are flying out here to run, as well as 3 friends from here that are running it this year too. I will be there to support them for sure.

While the news that I get to run again is honestly the best thing I’ve heard since, “Hi, this is Marathon Sports. Your Asics just came in…” it did come with some setbacks. (Oh wait.. so did the Asics situation. Pink? Really? The website said RED.)

Hearing I can run? I’m ecstatic. Thrilled. Elated. Overjoyed. Over the moon. Top of the world. I don’t know how many ways I can say it.. but it couldn’t make me happier. EXCEPT.. I was/am scared. So scared. I’m scared that despite how great my hip (/hips) feel, I’m gonna get out there, and be like, “Shit. It’s not supposed to feel like that.” That hasn’t happened yet, and I feel that with each new run I go on, that fear will dissipate,  but that fear is real. 

So what.. 5 mile? No prob? Mmm… not quite. My doctor cleared me for 10 minutes/2x per day (ideally, or just 20 minutes once). As much as I want to take what he said and be like, “Sure.. no probs.” I honestly know that it’s a bit much. Not that I don’t think I could do that, but because I don’t think I should. The coach here.. even after little stress fractures, he starts his runners out at 10 minutes, every other day. 20 minutes every day.. kinda a big step up from that. I’m sticking to every/other right now for this first week, and I’m planning on evaluating with my PT tomorrow at my appointment. 

So yes. I’m back. Lots is going on right now in my life… I have this huge “Project Lent: 2009″ thing that I’m doing.. more on that later maybe, and oh yeah, that little thing called college:

Sad story – my roomie put my absolute favorite from-home Caribou Coffee travel mug through the DISHWASHER. And the hot water melted the seal. And melted the red outside color. And now its dunzo. She offered to buy me a new one, and I bring to you:

I know I’m all “RunRoamRECYCLE”, but this is kinda overkill. It was the only one that had a solid closing though.. and I need to be able to toss it in my bag, so there you go. “Made with 28% post-consumer recycled content”. Yeah.. it says that.. plus a lot more lil recycle-happy quotes. I am ALL FOR being environmentally conscious, but I don’t like to preach. You’ll never see me wearing one of VS’s “Think Pink, Go Green” shirts. NEVER. 

Oh.. and that lil guy.. I got a new tattoo. It was kinda one of those last minute decision things.. and I’m not so sure about it now. Sorry mom. 

Love to you all, and to all a good night. GREYS!